I have learned over the years that the hardest part of being a mom is letting go. Not just of the preconceived notions of what being a parent is, or what you want your child to be, or of hours lost with them when you no longer stay married to their dad.
From infancy and childhood, to terrible teens and beyond, I have discovered that letting requires a varied degree of pain and suffering as well as a healthy dose of faith as you watch your baby become an independent adult. But what I find myself longing for the most are those special moments we spent alone – just the two of us – whether a trip to the zoo or a museum or the beach – it never mattered where but the time spent together always meant something new and exciting was waiting to be discovered and shared. It was a time when mommy was king of the world and I could be the sole focus of my sons’ attention! Those times are now a distant memory captured in photo albums in my garage.
Several weeks ago, I received an invite to a Microsoft event, “Project Natal as imagined by Cirque du Soleil” and my youngest son said he’d like to go and what’s more, he insisted that it just be me and him – alone! Our first “date” our first real alone, one on one time in way too many months.
As the evening of June 14th drew nearer, my youngest son kept hounding me what exactly were we going to see, what exactly ,/i>was the event about, who was going to be there. I really didn’t know what to answer him as the details of the event were still a state secret at that point. I somewhat confidently assured him that if it had to do with Microsoft’s XBox 360 ( a video gaming platform) and a Cirque du Soleil performance, how could it be anything but great?? But I still wondered if he would cancel on me at the last minute if something “better” or more interesting or of the female species would come up and spoil my plans to spend some long overdue alone time with my youngest. Unfortunately, he’s cancelled on me too many times in recent history and I wasn’t feeling all that confident that he would make this date!
When finally the night of “Project Natal” came, my “date” was on time (for a change), traffic from the San Fernando valley going towards downtown L.A. was really moving quickly (also for a change) and my son and I had a meaningful conversation about what’s been going on in his life (a truly refreshing change) along the way.
This the evening was off to a magnificent start, but it was only the beginning.
(…..to be continued)